Eyes with depth

People talk about different physical attributes that they notice first on people. Some will look at their face. Some look at hands. Some might look at posture and how one carries their self. The thing that catches me are the eyes in people. I can tell a lot about a person from their eyes. The more I come to know a person, the more I have a window into their lives, especially with their eyes. If I know you well, I can sense frustration, pain, fear. I can sense joy and happiness. Even if it's just a passing wave, a person can communicate a lot with just their eyes.

I look at some people, and I see a depth I can't measure with wisdom hidden behind them. A soft, yet stern look that shows character and experience in life. These eyes could include people like my dad, or Mr. Seymour or Mr. Preslar. All of whom are major figures in my life. Ironically, all also have a sense of humor that comes out through their eyes (although the senses of humor are completely different). When I see them, I feel safe.

Other people have a sensitive look about them. They are eyes that say, "Come, talk to me. You can trust me. I will listen." I feel a certain comfort around them that I can't exactly explain. It's a motherly look...perhaps that explains it? Obviously, my mom is included in this. Mrs. Seymour also has the same. Another person that comes to mind as well is Mrs. Preslar. Though I don't talk with her much, I see so much sensitivity in her eyes. They are eyes like these that make me feel better, even when life sucks.

With both of those groups, more people could be included. However this other "group" of eyes, few people can be included. They are eyes that pierce through me. Not stabbing pierce, but one of care and concern. They know when I'm hurting and when I'm happy. Some have come to read me so well that they know what I'm thinking, without having to ask (sometimes it's creepy [you know who you are, :-P]). I feel like I can't hide anything from them. They are eyes that can say, "I care about you", without having to say a word. They are those who are closest to me. People like my room-mate Stefan, or Bethany, or Steph. I feel myself around them.

A well known sayings goes, "The eyes are the window to the soul..." I agree whole heatedly....

Life and all it's worth

There are a lot of things I take for granted. Ice-cream for example. It's a dairy-sugary goodness that fills my mouth and melts, seeping into my taste buds. I love it, especially chocolate-chip cookie dough. Do I really appreciate it though? Some can't have it because of different problems, or they live in a place where they don't have access to it because they are so poor.

I also take for granted things like a good church. I have an awesome church back home in Charlotte. Everyone is very supportive. I feel at home with my family when I'm at church. I also have an awesome church out here in Nebraska. Everyone is friendly and is looking for ways to support not only me, but the other college students.

Life is another subject all together. "Life" entails a lot of ideas. Breath. Food. Strength. Thought. Salvation. Freedom. Fun. Friends. Conception. A heart beat. Birth. Growth. It's something that goes without saying. It just is. We can "live the life". The joys of being a person who can take part in the activities of this world. Many aren't bad at all. However, it's when life gets rough, that we remember the other side.

Pain. Frustration. Disappointment. Confusion. Death. Tears. Fatigue. Helplessness. Mistakes. Rejection. It's all something goes without discussion, because we avoid it. We don't want to think about the pain, physical or emotional. We forget the tears, and lift our selves up that we can "handle it" when we know we can't. Why does life contain all this? Is it all worth it? Does the good, "outweigh the bad"? What's the point?

The past three years have become gradually harder for me. This senior year has been the hardest year that I can remember. The school isn't what makes it hard. It's everything outside the school. I tried to do more than I could handle, or so I thought. I put myself up in positions of leadership. I signed up for services. I involved myself in peoples lives. As the year progressed, I realized I becoming overwhelmed. Emotional pain came. A feeling of helplessness became the norm. I look back and I ask those question mentioned before. What is this life worth?

I answer with a simple, "Thank you, God for allowing me to endure all that this life gives me. Thank you for how you stretch me and test me." I've learned more about who I am this year than any before. Not about who I think I am. Not about who others think I am. Just me before God. The more I go through, the more I realize I can't do it on my own. The more I'm broken before God, the more He pulls me together. I think of James 1:2-4, "My brethren, count it all JOY when you fall into various trials, knowing that the TESTING of your faith produces PATIENCE. But let patience have it's PERFECT work, that you may become perfect and COMPLETE, lacking NOTHING!". God is perfecting me and completing me through everything I live, even if it's hard.

For what do I need to complain? I have all the strength I need. I have all the wisdom God can supply. Patience is provided when I need it most. What is it for? For God. He makes life worth something. He brings worth to my life. When I say, "To God be the glory", as I face a trial, and I give thanks for everything, I find myself face to face before God almighty. He says, "You're doing well, keep relying on me. I will give you strength. I will lift you up, and you will give me glory." It's His hand that pulls me through. It's His smile that I want to see. His pleasure in me is why I find worth in this life...

Life and all it's worth...is more than I can describe....