I recently finished a book for a class I'm in. The title is "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" by Jim Cymbala. What was originally an assignment, turned into a very convicting read. I had to read the whole book in a day, due to lack of preparation, but I don't think I'd want it any other way, because reading it all at once made a larger impact on my life than if I were to spread it out. Through conviction of apathy, thoughts on God, being broken down and tears, I've come to a conclusion about prayer today in American Christian Churches - We need more!
I forgot the power of prayer. Many have forgotten and apathy has been spread across many churches. I see it in my life, and I'm tired of it. I don't want to live my life without passion anymore. Today, Christians either down play prayer (conservative) or they play it up and make it mystical (Charismatic). Isn't there a balance? There is an old saying that goes, "If you have only the Word, you dry up. If you have only the Spirit, you blow up. But if you have both, you grow up." There needs to be a balance.
How often do I go and pray to the God who saved me from eternal damnation in Hell? I should continually be talking to Him. Why can't I spend an extra 10 minutes...an extra 20 minutes...an extra hour out of my "busy" day to spend time with Him who cares so much for me!
I have a vision in so many ways to see things happen. I want to see youth come to Christ. I want to see the small town of Bayard that I have come to love so much, begin to flourish again with people. God wants to use me...I just have to be willing and talk with Him about it.
As I was talking to one of my good friends about this, I asked her essentially, "What are we gonna do about it?" It's good to recognize the fact that we've failed in an area in our life. It's good to recognize that something needs to change. The hard part is going through with it.
The past semester and this semester have been emotionally draining on me, in so many aspects. I look back as I write this and wonder how often I really poured out to God and asked Him to take charge and make things happen. I was so caught up in doing it on my own. BAD idea. How much more could God have worked had I given all to Him?
At the end of my conversation with my friend, it was late into the night. I was broken and it seemed she was too. It wasn't by anyone's words, the book or any human work. It was God showing how we need Him, and how I have neglected. I couldn't do anything else but just say that we both needed to go off and pray. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor on my knees, praying about whatever came to mind. It went from people, to churches, to situations to myself to praising God for His awesome glory. 10 minutes flew by....I went to bed praying. I fell asleep praying. I woke up that morning...praying. I'm not charismatic. I try not to run my life based completely off emotions. However, God gave us emotions, and the joy I felt when I talked to Him was overwhelming.
Lord, I pray that I continue to seek You in everything I do. Give me a passion for prayer, and a passion to pray for people. I want to praise You. I want to seek You. Move in me in such a way that I can't keep still. Use me, change me, mold me. You are my strength and my source of joy. You give me victory. You make life worth living, when living isn't worth it. Give those around me a desire to have a relationship with you, not just a "conversation". Give the church a desire to pray. May all praise and honor go to You in everything I do, say and pray....
