God induced Frustration. I think He does it on purpose...

Interesting title - don't you think?

Recently, I've kinda had my plans go down the toilet. I thought I had everything figured out. In fact, I thought I knew what God had planned for me in the next couple of years - at least in a general sense. Apparently, I didn't have God figured out...

It seems that God throws curve balls all the time. Sometimes, I think He does it on purpose, just to keep us on our toes. But that's good. I think recently, I'd rather be uncomfortable with God's plan than comfortable with mine. It just seems to bring more excitement into life.

At one point I had planned to stay in one place and minister there for a few years. I wanted to take root and make a difference. God didn't think it was a good idea. I learned to stop arguing with God. I've had many conversations like this one:
"God I'll do this, but not this"
"No - you're going to do that too"
"No God, I'm satisfied doing this. It's a good thing"
"Nope. This too."
"No..!"
"YES!"
"Ok - fine, I'll do that, but not this"
"Actually....you're gonna do that too"
"But - I can't. I don't know how. I won't"
"Doesn't matter - I'm God - you're gonna do it!"
"I don't wanna! It's scary!"
"Yeah - but I'm God..."
"NO!"
"Yes..."
"Ok - fine. That too...but not THIS!"
"Actually....."

And so on. At one point - I realized that having these conversations just frustrates me more. God knows what He's doing. When ever I have a "but I" He has a, "But I'm God". He always knows better than I do. He's given me strength in places and during times I most needed.

God Stretches. I feel like gumby some times. You know that character made out of taffy or something. Stretches and stuff. Does crazy shapes. That's me sometimes. It's good. I enjoy it most of the time. I think God enjoys it too. Not in a cynical type of way - but in a "That's my son, and I want him to grow" type of a way.

God's in the business of making us more Christ-like. I hope I'm a good employee.

Stress comes without warning sometimes. Life just doesn't go your way. You hurt - others hurt. Pain. Emotional, physical. I don't know how to deal with some of it. It's out of nowhere. You pray - and hope for a solution. Instead of a cure - more often than not, we receive more.

Instead of asking for a relief, should I instead ask for belief?

God you know what You're doing - even in the midst of a storm. My only comfort is in You. Stabilize. Energize. Revive/Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. Amen.

Trophies

The other night, I was at the school cleaning. For two and a half hours, I cleaned the trophy case, and all the trophies in it. At one point, a thought came into my mind, and it went something like this:

"I'm cleaning trophies.....There is a story behind each one.....I am cleaning someone else's memories.
Behind each trophy there are people who are unnamed. Behind each trophy, is a story of the people who poured themselves out. There was sweat poured, blood shed, and tears cried."

"Who knows the joys that were behind it? Who knows the anguish endured? All the physical training, special diets, and late nights training. There was comradery and bonding. There was stress and disagreements."

"Behind each trophy, there was a coach, a team, and fans. There were practices, games, and tournaments. As the team advanced, the excitement increased. A score. A loser. A champion."

"The victors were celebrated. The coach exalted. The trophy awarded. They walk around proud. The trophy shows off their achievement. Then it's placed into the case, along with all the other shiny awards."

"5, 10, or even 20 years later, a simple janitor comes and dusts off the trophy. The names are unknown. The time spent is unimportant. All the effort behind each achievement is without recognition. The only thing that is known is what the end result was, nothing else - nothing more. Forgotten memories fill the case. What is the point?"

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So then, I asked myself - "What are my trophies?" Are they in material objects and goals? Or are they in my God, and the achievements I have in Him.

I ask you - "What are your trophies?"

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1 Corinthians 9:24 - "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. "

Philippians 3:14 - "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

The substance of life.

What is the substance of life? I’m having a hard time grasping it right now. Yes, I know that we have “life” in Christ. I know that we have the breath of God in us that He gave. I understand that God is the sustainer of all life. However, for some reason, I’m still confused. Maybe we’re supposed to be confused by all this.

I was at a funeral the other day. I was just running sound, helping out and stuff. But I glanced at the open casket. I glanced around the room. I try to read the face of the emptied tent – absolutely nothing. I peer through the eyes of those walk around in sorrow, looking for something different – I find hopelessness, but still life. Life is more than just electrons running through the body. Life is more than seeing, hearing, eating and feeling. It’s taken so quick. It’s taken so much for granted.

As I saw a young mother, holding her child in her arms, I watched her pass the man who wasn’t there. She stood there momentarily, looking for something. Not finding it, she took her seat. It occurred to me that there, for a brief second, life was almost summarized - Life in it’s newness, life at it’s peak, and then non-life.

Death – is it an event? Death cannot be a substance, but simply the absence of what was. Life doesn’t just leave, and death "moves in" forever. We start dying the moment we are born…

What a hopelessness one could have. I saw it in mass. A life that vanished. A search for a peace that couldn’t be found. Inside, they scream, “Why God?” or “Where’s God?” instead of “Oh MY God”.

Life. Death. Can I comprehend? Can I absolutely define? I only see the dividing line. I leave the rest up to the Most High, Devine!